John Ioannou
Four recommendations to turn failure into success!
Tennis enthusiasts watched the Roland-Garros men’s tennis final on June 13th where the Serb, Novak Djokovic, played against the Greek, Stefanos Tsitsipas. This game could easily portray, the famous biblical story of Goliath vs. David. Djokovic, ranked #1, and the holder of 18 Grand Slam titles against Tsitsipas, at the time ranked #5, who was facing his first ever Grand Slam final. Given our Greek/Cypriot origins, my family and I got out all the Greek flags and scarves we have and sat in front of the TV with hope and anticipation.
Everything was going Tsitsipas’ way and he was leading 0 – 2. The WhatsApp messages with other Tsitsipas’ fans were on fire. Could this be the moment? Tsitsipas, at the age of just 22, was carrying a lot on his shoulders. A lot of ‘responsibility’ towards himself and his team/family, his fans, the sport and . . . Greece.
However, after an almost five-hour epic ‘battle’, Djokovic managed to dig deep, to turn around a 0-2 and to walk out with a 3-2 set victory. Hard for me to swallow, hard to keep the tears in. It was a Greek tragedy – literally.
Looking at the sad face of young Tsitsipas during the closing ceremony, got me thinking . . . how will he come out of this loss?
We all know that success is not always about winning. However, losing in such a way, it must surely hurt – a lot. So how do we recover, get re-inspired, regain self-confidence, and come back from failure and disappointment?
Apart from the professional athletes, we all have faced this situation along our life/career journeys. Whether we failed a major exam or did not get a job or an expected promotion. The list is long and endless and all of you have had – I am sure – your fair share of life disappointments simply because life never goes according to plan.
Inspired by Tsitsipas, (with whom, I WILL take a selfie one day, as he holds his grand slam trophy), and drawing from my own letdowns,
I would like to share with you four recommendations on how one can come back after hitting a personal low and continue chasing one’s dreams.
1. Commit to your life purpose, focus on your ‘why’
There must be some unique and inspiring ‘why’ for putting all the hard work towards your goal. Go back to your ‘why’ and focus on that!
Do not allow failure to hijack your ‘why’ and your motivation. Do not allow anyone or any circumstance to define your worth/ability/potential. Refuse to ride the roller coaster of emotions and return to your life purpose, your true North Star. There is where you belong.
2. Acknowledge and deal with your feelings
Failure is heartbreaking, and you will not feel bright and merry for a while. These feelings of unfulfilled hope and failed expectations are normal. They are hard to shake off but they are ephemeral. Take time to heal and step back to reflect and get a clearer picture of what went wrong.
For me, meditating, exercising, and writing have been positive outlets for my negative feelings.
Talking things through, expressing my feelings and frustrations with my spouse, a friend, a mentor, someone who is positive,
has also worked well. They helped me see through the ‘fog’ and gave me the motivation and confidence to get back on track.
3. Reassess your success plan and continue pressing forward
I recently read this quote: “The road to success is always under construction”, it is not smooth or well paved, it has bumps and obstacles.
The journey will not be easy. So, when you mess up, do not get stuck in a pit of failure. Instead, get up, dust yourself off and keep going.
You cannot change what happened, but you can try again and stay focused on the things you can control.
See this setback as an opportunity to reassess your action plan and think proactively about what to do next. What have you learned from this failure? Is your ladder to success up against the right wall? Are you pushing yourself out of your comfort zone?
4. Expand your perspective
Failure or success for that matter, requires a strong sense of perspective! And embracing failure as an inevitable byproduct of success will change your perspective. True, real, and meaningful success is bigger and broader than the specific trophy or promotion you have been chasing. When your professional career is finally over, and you look back, you do not want to have a lot of trophies, titles, and assets at the expense of family, friends, and health.
So, aim to expand your perspective early on to encompass your growth as a complete person not just as an athlete or as an executive. Focus on the journey not the destination: the progress and development you have achieved over time; the people you have touched along the way; and the impact you have made on others. This will be your biggest legacy!
I hope my 4 recommendations above will come handy the next time you face a major disappointment. Always remember that although at times you may not be able to control the circumstances surrounding failure, you can control how you manage and navigate failure.
Please remember that your children will also face setbacks in school, sports, careers, relationships. With these four recommendations in mind, have an open conversation with your child, do not shame nor blame, rather focus on what they learned from the setback. Remember, we play a big role on how our children see the world and deal with setbacks, and we have the power and responsibility to prepare our children to face life’s challenges.
To Stefanos Tsitsipas: keep chasing your dreams buddy, your ‘why’, your life purpose – you are an inspiration to many – especially our children!
Let us go out in the world and fail again and again as we chase our dreams. And as we learn to cope with setbacks and course correct, we will set ourselves up for success. As Albert Einstein put it: “Failure is success in progress”.
