Is it good to always be authentic? The simple answer is Yes! From my experience though in business as well as in my recent capacity as an executive coach, I struggled to convince myself that it is effective to always be authentic. This struggle has raised several questions for me:

How authentic should I be as a leader or as a coach for that matter?
How much of my true self, my feelings, my beliefs and values do I share and when?
How do I balance how authentic should I be in each and every situation?

I would presume that many of us are faced with this authenticity dilemma. In the very early stages of our lives, parents, educators, and mentors advise us to be honest, be who we are, be true to ourselves… be authentic. Many times however we find ourselves having to adapt and flex our style to be effective and successful. This to me implies that we need to adjust / modify our actions and in many cases our mindset to fit into the ‘system’.

Authenticity is very relevant to how we manage our careers, especially as we move up the career ladder. As different roles have different demands, challenges, expectations, and pressures, we usually feel that our authenticity is tested. Saying too much or too little about what we think early on, could have negative consequences.

First impressions form quickly and we may lose our effectiveness and authority as leaders if we disclose everything we believe/feel when we are new to a role and our credibility is unproven.

Thus, we tend to hold back, which may result in feeling inconsistent, perhaps even insincere, and that our true self is compromised.

However, I would argue that this unpleasant feeling is temporary and is created every time we get out of our comfort zone and we’re on our way into the growth/development zones. We need to strike a balance!

So how do we manage this delicate balance? How do we change our leadership identity every time we move on to bigger and better things while preserving our authenticity? Drawing from my experiences and my recent career change, here are four general principles/habits I recommend following:

Pivot towards what makes you happier – and commit to your life purpose, your why! If you are contemplating a changethat means the right programs and processes for continuous talent growth and development are missing. Keep searching, your professional journey is long, and you need to keep learning and moving forward . . . don’t settle for less. Sometimes in life you don’t get what you want because you deserve better.

Challenge the ‘warm and secure feeling’ of your comfort zone – Many successful working professionals find their comfort zone and stay in it. The comfort zone is a dangerous place, a place of complacency, a place of ‘coasting’.The longer you coast, the more difficult it is to get out of your comfort zone, to spread your wings, take risks, make mistakes, learn, and grow.

Have the emotional courage – and fight that internal voice that keeps telling you:“Shame on you, look around you and be grateful for what you’ve got”. This ‘gratitude shaming’ is beating yourself up for not appreciating what you have, and it implies that your desire to want more, your hunger for growth and development are not valid.Acknowledge yet silence that voice and have the emotional courage to move through any challenge. Most importantly never ever under-estimate nor doubt the power of your own expectations and ambition.

Once I made the agonizing decision to move on, there were another three months to wait out before I left the company and had to deal with the emotional baggage that comes along with such move.I have identified three key hurdlesI needed to address to get my notice period right, keep my winning mindset, help me make lasting connections and boost my performance in my next job:

Overcome the sense of guilt –This hurdle is about overcoming the sense of guilt of leaving behindstrong relationshipsthat have been cultivated and tested over the years.You must have a candid conversationwith your team members as they willnaturallyfeel abandoned and perhaps somewhat nervous and insecure.They have the right to know your thinking process and they should hear the news of you leaving from you, not through the grapevine. I also found out that the more I’ve talked to my team, the less guilt I felt . . .It is important that you respect your colleagues and take care of your team, that supported you through thick and thin. They deserve that!

Take time to grieve – Indeed, leaving behind your team and the businesses you’ve built with so much effort, tears and sweat is heartbreaking. This hurdle is about acknowledgingyour emotions – sadness, anger, disappointment – give yourself time to grieve, and be kind to yourself. Share/discuss your feelings with your spouse, your best friend, your coach/mentor to gain perspective. It is important to acknowledge the lessons learnt, celebrate the successes and distance yourself emotionally so that you can look into the future with anticipation. A close friend advised me that it iscrucial not to let the grieving part overshadow the thrill and excitement of a new beginning!

Adjust your sense of self and envision success – This hurdle is the process ofmoving on and focusing on your new beginning!Let go of old prototypes and habits and embrace the change with courage. Own your career move. It is also important to create an image of your professional future and visualize the aspiring version of yourself that will come out of this change and focus on that. Don’t forget, YOU are the chairperson of your career!

In closing, always remember “A ship is safe in a harbor, but that is not what ships are built for!” Keep sailing and we will see each other in the wide-open oceans!